Finding Your Way Back
by lunagreene
Summary: Beth Greene is finally coming home from war. Will she cope fitting back into normal life? How will the events of her past shape her future? [AU - No ZA.][Bethyl][Warnings: some violence, flashbacks to war/hostage situations, PTSD, other mature themes.]
1. Chapter 1

The familiar fields and farmhouses of King County rambled past the bus window as Beth Greene finally made her way home. She had been discharged from the combat support hospital at Fort Benning a week early, and hadn't told a single soul. Although she knew her sister Maggie would have been more than happy to bring her back, Beth had wanted to make the journey alone.

It felt strange being back here after everything that had happened in the past two years. _Two years..._ she thought, _Is anything going to be the same? _She wasn't even sure she wanted to go home knowing her father wouldn't be there. Eighteen months after joining the army as a nurse, Beth had been devastated by the news that Hershel Greene had been killed in a seemingly random knife attack. She had been making arrangements to come home for her father's funeral when the base she was stationed at was bombed. Beth rubbed her head and closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing. She did not want to think about what had happened after that, she was putting it all behind her now. That was another life.

Knowing she still had some time before the bus stopped, Beth reached into the large, khaki bag on the seat next to her. She pulled out a battered green notebook, and started flicking through. It was more like a scrapbook, filled with diary entries, poems, photographs, drawings, and letters. She stopped at a dog eared envelope, and pulled out a small stack of photos. They were taken the day before she left the farm for college, at the party her family had thrown for her. The first photo was of her whole family sitting on the porch steps of the farmhouse. Maggie's boyfriend, Glenn, had set up the camera on a timer, but hadn't quite managed to get in the photo before it took; Otis was busy looking at Patricia instead of the camera; but everyone was laughing, smiling. Shawn had managed to get the day off work to be there, and he and her father had their arms around each others shoulders, Shawn toasting his drink toward the camera. Beth was on his other side, with Maggie, laughing at Glenn as he stumbled towards them.

_Daddy looks so happy here, _Beth thought as she turned to the next photograph. It was a picture of him standing at the barbecue next to Rick Grimes, the local sheriff, and - "_Daryl_," she said aloud.

She lifted the photo closer, frowning as she studied his face. Standing slightly behind Rick, he had been taking a drag of his cigarette when the photo had been taken, and was definitely not impressed at being in the impromptu snap. In fact, it was the only photo he had been captured in the entire night, and only one of a few Beth had of him. Resisting the urge to dig them out, Beth flicked through the other photos from the party, trying to distance herself from the thought of Daryl Dixon. Looking out of the window, Beth's heart quickened as she recognised where she was. She carefully returned the photos back to their envelope in the notebook, and placed it back in her bag.

A small hint of a smile danced on her lips as the bus came to a stop near the end of a long dirt track that Beth knew very well. The journey had only taken about two hours, and Beth had felt nervous the whole way. The butterflies that had taken residence in the pit of her stomach only intensified as she stood up, grabbed her bag, and made her way down the aisle of the bus.

The bus driver, a self-effacing man with a kind smile, had agreed to look out for a sign that said 'Greene Farm' along this stretch of road when Beth had gotten on.

"Thank you for making this stop, Jim, I know it's not a scheduled one," Beth stopped next to him and nodded, "I really appreciate it."

The man smiled at her, bashfully rubbed his dark beard and said "Ah, that's alright. You take care, now."

There was a loud creaking as the doors swung open, and Beth hesitated for half a minute before stepping off the bus and into the Georgia midday sunshine.

"Well," she said aloud to herself, looking around at the sun bleached grass, the tall oak trees, and the dirt track disappearing into the woods. "This is the same."

After she had said good bye to Jim and watched the bus trundle off down the road, Beth took in her surroundings, breathing deeply. Her heart seemed to know she was home – the heavy thumping had slowed, and the butterflies had taken off somewhere. She had forgotten what fresh, country air smelled like. The more she breathed it in, the calmer she felt.

Catching sight of the 'Greene Farm' sign, Beth walked over and inspected it. It was definitely looking a bit more weathered than she remembered.

"Hmmm... You're not quite the same. I guess I'll have to fix you up." And with that, she adjusted the bag on her shoulders and started walking down the track.

* * *

Twenty minutes later she was standing on that porch and staring at the front door. Now she had gotten here, she wasn't sure what to do. Should she knock? Was anyone even home? Where had she put her key? She put reached for the screen handle, and pulled it open. _Good start, _she thought. Beth placed her hand on the front door knob and turned. It opened.

Stepping into the cool hallway, she inhaled the smell of home – furniture polish, food, and _coffee_. Beth dropped her bag onto the floor and headed straight for the kitchen, a real smile finally brightening her face. She hadn't had a decent cup of coffee in two years.

Beth sat down at the kitchen table, and took a sip from her favourite mug. "Oh, now that is good!" she breathed as she went for another mouthful.

About five minutes later, she heard the front door creak open, and a familiar voice say, "What the... Oh my goodness..! Beth?! BETHY?!"

Beth froze, her heart hammering in her chest. Before she could answer, Maggie was in the doorway, holding onto the frame as if it was the only thing keeping her vertical.

"Don't know anyone else that carries around a military issue backpack then, I guess?" Beth smiled weakly, standing up

"You're... How did you... What happened?" Maggie gasped out.

"I got out early," she shrugged, "Got a bus. Thought it would be a nice surprise." She looked down at her boots, knowing that that wasn't the entire truth and hoping Maggie wouldn't catch on.

"Of _course _it's a nice surprise, I just.. I would've driven you home!"

Maggie pushed herself off the door frame and enveloped Beth in a hug. She shifted uncomfortably, but gingerly wrapped her arms around her sister's back all the same. Beth really had missed her, and was suddenly very pleased that she had gotten off that bus. Maggie stepped back and held Beth at the shoulders, looking at her. Her eyes moved across the three scars on Beth's face, but all she said was, "I'll fix something to eat in a bit, I see you've already helped yourself to the good coffee!"

She laughed nervously, and went to sit in the chair next to the one Beth had vacated. Maggie looked at her expectantly, and Beth sat down to join her.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't around when you got here. I went down to clean stables and feed the horses. You weren't waiting here long were you?" Maggie picked at the table cloth, a little anxious.

"No, not at all, don't worry about it." There was a short silence after Beth replied, and she worried she had been too short. "I've only been here about ten minutes now, it's fine really." she added, a little softer. Maggie relaxed, and cleared her throat.

"So, what happened? How come you're home early?" she asked tentatively, and Beth's hand automatically went to rub the scar above her left eyebrow.

"I just... Rehabilitated better than expected. Guess I'm stronger than I look." She gave her big sister a shy smile, and Maggie gave her a half exasperated grin in return as she stood up and headed for the fridge.

"You sure are. Oh, Bethy. I just can't believe you're here, I haven't even fixed your room proper yet! And I was planning a get together next weekend, you know, to welcome you home." She looked at Beth as she started making sandwiches. "With your say so, of course, I don't want to... Overwhelm you. If it would be too awful for you, just say?"

Beth raised her eyebrows, "Oh. Uh, next weekend should still be fine, I'd like some time to... You know... Settle in."

"Of course, of course, that's fine. Now, why don't you go and get yourself cleaned up for lunch?" Maggie grinned as she busied about the kitchen, although the smile didn't quite reach her eyes.

Beth gave her another shy smile back, and turned to leave the kitchen.

"Oh, and take your hat and boots off, Bethy, house rules still apply!" Maggie called after her in a sing-song way.

Beth rolled her eyes and chuckled as she unlaced her boots. _I guess some things don't change_, she thought as she climbed the stairs and headed for her bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Sorry this has taken ages to upload! I have seriously fallen in love with this story and I have a few ideas as to where it's going to go, although I'm not sure how long it will be! Reviews and comments are welcome! I have never published anything I've written before, so this is very new to me! Thank you for the lovely comments and reviews so far! I will try and update once a week/every two weeks from now on. Massive shoutout to rosehathawhey on here - thank you for your invaluable help and support! You're amazing!**

* * *

Her room looked pretty much the same as she left it, and it looked like Maggie had been keeping it clean. The sun was streaming in through windows, and Beth could see the dust motes floating in the air. After leaning her bag against the bed frame, she knelt on the window seat and threw open the sash windows. The air wasn't exactly cool, but it was fresh, and soon the dusty smell would be gone.

Beth sat and faced her room, the pale yellow walls were covered in posters of her favourite musicians, notice boards with more photographs of family and friends crammed on. Shelves full of books and records. The bed had been stripped but everything else was in it's place, except for the corner by her bed. That was where she had kept her guitar, leaning against the wall by her wardrobe door. She had taken it on her tour of duty, but it disappeared during the attack; Beth presumed it had been blasted into matchwood.

She stood up and threw her cap onto the bed before stripping off her fatigues. Just as she was stepping out of her pants, Beth caught sight of herself in the full length mirror, and froze. She hadn't really seen her full reflection for a while, the mirrors on her ward hadn't been big enough.

Beth straightened up, and went to stand right in front of the mirror. Although she had always been petite and slim, in recent years, Beth had worked hard on her personal fitness, and her small body had become strong, lean and muscular. The person reflected back at her now looked entirely different. Her white underwear hung off her hips and shoulders, a size too big at least, and faint ghosts of bruises could be seen here and there. Taking her hair out of the low bun it was in, Beth felt around the back of her head for the fourth scar she knew was there; a round, hairless notch on her scalp. She shuddered, and pulled her hand away. She could remember the doctors marvelling at her recovery, how lucky she was to be alive, they said she was a miracle. Looking around, Beth didn't feel like a miracle, she felt like a ghost; half of her felt like she belonged here, the other half just felt lost.

Turning away from the mirror, she strode over to her bag and pulled out a large washbag, and made her way into the bathroom. Beth put her blue toothbrush back in the glass on shelf, unpacked her facewash and moisturisers, a special cream used to minimise scarring, and finally, placed several orange containers of pills in the cabinet above the sink. _Paroxetine, prazosin, ibuprofen, _all designed to keep away some kind of pain or other. Beth popped open the container of paroxetine, and took one tablet, cupping some water from the tap to swallow it down with. Closing the cabinet, she caught sight of her pale face in the mirror, adorned with pink scars, and her heart sank. Every time she saw her reflection, the evidence of her fight for life would always be staring back at her, reminding her of the ordeal. Beth forced a smile at herself. "You will get better," she told the blonde in the mirror.

After taking a quick shower, Beth rooted around in her wardrobe for something to wear. She slung on a pair of jeans and a vest top, and went to go downstairs. Just before she left her room, though, Beth caught her eye on a photo pinned to the noticeboard by her door. It was taken the evening of her senior prom, and Hershel had insisted on having a photo taken of them together before she left the house. He put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in halfway to a hug. Beth had leaned right into his shoulder, and they were both beaming at the camera. A painful ache blossomed across her chest as she gazed at her father's happy face, the realisation that she would never speak to him again hitting her, and not for the first time. She wiped away the tears that had spilled down her cheeks, and made her way out the door.

"Yes, she got here by herself... No, I don't know. She seems okay... I feel nervous." Standing halfway down the staircase, Beth could hear Maggie talking to someone, obviously on the phone.

"I don't know how to be around her, Glenn. Can you please come home? I just... I'm scared. What if I say the wrong thing, and upset her, or she thinks I'm treating her differently? What if I do and I don't realise? I don't want that. I'm so pleased she's home, I don't want to scare her off or something."

Beth sighed, she wanted to tell Maggie not to worry, but she didn't know the answers to her sister's questions herself. So how could she comfort her?

"Okay, I'll see you in about an hour or so. Thank you, Glenn. Love you." The phone was clicked back into it's stand, and Beth waited a minute before coming down the rest of the stairs.

Beth walked back into the kitchen, startling her sister.

"Hey! Ready for some sandwiches?" Maggie exclaimed a little eagerly, grabbing the plates of food and rushing them over to the table.

After they had eaten, Maggie came up to Beth's room to help make her bed, and to sort through the rest of her bag.

"I called Glenn, he's coming home from work early, he's really pleased you're back!" Maggie said while stuffing a pillow into it's white case.

"Did you? That's nice... How is Glenn doing at work? It must be tough running a business and working here?" Beth asked, fighting with a pillow herself. She wanted to show Maggie she was making an effort, that she wanted to be home as much as her sister wanted her here.

"He's getting into a routine now, I think," Maggie said with a big smile. It was clear she was full of pride for her fiancé. "Glenn doesn't do any of the guided tours himself now, so he can run the business mainly from here. He only needs to go into Atlanta once a week, twice if something comes up. It's been a blessing, really, since Otis and Patricia retired."

"That's great, I'm glad things are going well. Maybe you'll find time to start arranging that wedding now I'm home." Beth smirked a little. It had been a year since Glenn proposed to Maggie and neither of them were any closer to setting a date. Maggie shook her head and laughed a little. She looked a lot more relaxed now, and Beth saw this as an opportunity.

"Hey Maggie, I was wondering... Do you think we could go to the cemetery today? I'd like to... Visit Daddy." She hugged the pillow to her with one arm, rubbed her head with her other hand, and looked earnestly at Maggie. "I need to go. I wasn't here, and I need to say goodbye." Beth could feel tears threatning to spill from her eyes, but blinked them away.

"Oh, Bethy. Of _course _we can go. I just... I don't think it's a good idea today," Maggie sighed as she sat on the bed. "I think it would be good for you to settle in a little bit first. Just today. We can go tomorrow. I don't want you to get overwhelmed. This is a big change for you, coming home, and you should take your time. You don't... You don't want to trigger anything..."

Beth felt a sting of irritation, but it dulled as she saw the expression on Maggie's face – pain. It was clear it hurt her to deny her sister. And, Beth had to admit to herself, she has a point. Going to her father's grave was going to be harrowing.

"Okay, tomorrow. Do you promise?" Beth hesistated, then held out her little finger. She hoped the gesture from when they were younger would show Maggie she was trying.

Maggie looked at Beth's hand, then met her eyes. She gave her little sister a sad smile, and linked her finger with Beth's.

"Tomorrow. We'll go and see Daddy together." she said in Beth's ear as she pulled her in for a hug, their linked fingers coccooned by their bodies.

As they pulled apart, they heard the sound of a truck pull up outside. "Oh, Glenn's back!" Maggie stood up and squeezed Beth's hand before letting go. "You come down when you're ready, okay?"

Beth nodded, and watched Maggie leave the room. She sat for a moment, inhaling a couple of deep breaths, before heading downstairs herself to greet Glenn.

The sun was low in the sky as Beth sat on the porch lacing up her running shoes. She had told Maggie and Glenn she wanted to take a run before dinner, and they had been reluctant to let her go alone. Beth had reassured them she wouldn't be going past the farm's boundary, and had felt the impatience boil up inside her that they didn't trust her to leave the house alone. She knew the fields and woods here like the back of her hand, she had grown up here. Besides, she'd gotten home fine, hadn't she? The doctors at Fort Benning were happy for her to go home and lead a normal life. Her superiors had given her an honorable discharge. Everyone, it seemed, had faith in her except her own family. Beth ran her fingers through her hair in frustration, before pulling it up into a ponytail. _They're just looking out for you, _she reminded herself. _They care about you._

Beth stretched out her arms and legs, before taking off at a light jog. She kept close to the edge of the woods, her pace quickening as she pushed her body out of it's comfort zone, and her heavy breathing drowning out the sound of the cicadas.

As she ran, she thought about how Maggie and Glenn had been mollycoddling her all afternoon. Getting her drinks, making sure she was comfortable... It was in their nature to be protective, but she was going to go mad if it carried on.

After a while, Beth slowed to walk; her heart was beating so fast she was sure it was about to explode. Her legs felt weak, her muscles ached, and her lungs were screaming for air. She put her hands on her hips, inhaled deeply and let out a short bark of a laugh. Her earlier frustration had gone, and Beth now felt lighter than she had all day, since she got off that bus.

Looking around, she realised she had made her way to the most western side of the farm. She turned her back to the sun and began to head back the way she came. Suddenly, Beth heard a rustling in the trees to her right.

"Hey! Don't y'know this is private property?!" A gravelly voice shouted from just inside the woods.

"_Shit!" _she breathed, panicked, her stomach lurching. She knew that voice, and the person it came from, very well.

Beth stopped walking, just as a tall figure strode out of the tree line, his hand shielding his eyes from the setting sun.

"Didn' you hear me? Who the fuck do you..." The man stopped suddenly. His hand dropped to his side, and his breathing became heavier as he came to the realisation of who was standing in front of him.

In a matter of seconds, Beth had taken him in. From the crossbow slung across his shoulder, to the tanned, muscular arms covered in a sheen of sweat. His dark hair fell across his eyes as he squinted towards her; it was longer than she remembered. He wore a sleeveless plaid shirt, with a black leather vest, just like he always did. Beth's mouth went dry as a wave of memories hit her, ones she had locked away for two years. She wasn't ready for this.

They stood staring at each other for a minute, neither making a move toward the other. Then, he found his voice.

"You're back."


	3. Chapter 3

_**AN: Once again, sorry for the long time between updates. I just really want to get this story as perfect as possible. Thank you so much for all the reviews and comments, I'm seriously taken aback that people are enjoying this fic! I hope this chapter isn't a let down after the wait. Please feel free to leave reviews, comments, and feedback! Thank you :)**_

* * *

_Gunshots... Bright flashes of light... Screams... Blinding pain in her head..._

Beth woke up with a start. Her heart was racing and she couldn't seem to catch her breath. She had pins and needles in her hands and face, and, upon trying to stand, found her legs too weak to support her. Waves of dizziness hit her over and over, and her vision was spotted by bright colours. Beth felt so disorientated, she couldn't work out where she was for a moment. Sliding to the floor, and feeling carpet beneath her skin instead of cold tiles, she remembered that she was no longer at Fort Benning, in hospital, but at home.

_It's just a panic attack, you're okay, you're home, you're okay..._ Beth repeated this mantra in her head, breathing in through her nose and blowing it out of her mouth, trying to get her breathing back to normal. She leant back against the side of the bed, and waited out the panic attack. Although they were still terrifying, she had had enough of them now to know how to deal with them, and know that it would be over soon.

"Stupid nightmares..." she muttered to herself, shivering. The sweat coating her skin was making her cold now she was no longer under the sheets, despite it being a warm night. She sat back on her bed, wrapping herself back up again, and waited for her body to calm.

...

A little while later, she glanced over to the clock beside her bed, and wasn't surprised to see it was just gone two in the morning. _Almost a full night's sleep, _she thought sarcastically_. _Keeping her blanket wrapped around her, Beth went and sat on the window seat. It was a clear night, and the inky sky was blazing with stars. That was one of the best things about living in the country – next to no light pollution. Back at the base where she had been stationed, floodlights were constantly lit, and she hadn't seen the sky so unrestricted for such a long time.

Although she tried not to, her mind wandered to the events of the previous evening – literally running into the one person in King County she wasn't prepared to see.

"_You're back."_

_Beth stood rooted to the spot. She could see his eyes scanning her up and down, settling on the scar above her left eye. Her mouth felt dry and her heart raced, she didn't know what to say to him._

"_I thought you were coming home next week." His voice was quiet, calm, as though he were speaking to a horse he didn't want to spook. Beth looked down, rubbing the scar above her head as she always did now when she got anxious._

"_I came back early. I, um, wanted it to be a surprise." She glanced up at him, dropping her hand to her side, only to begin fiddling with the pocket on her shorts. He nodded, readjusted the crossbow on his shoulder, and then started chewing his thumb nail as he looked around._

"_I didn't know if you'd want to hear from me." Beth met his eyes as she spoke, and he frowned at her. He held this unhappy gaze for few moments, nodded again, and then stalked off into the woods again._

_Beth let out a breath she didn't realise she had been holding, and felt tears prick her eyes. She knew that meeting wasn't as bad as it could have been, considering how she had left two years ago. Blinking the tears away, she stretched her legs and started a slow jog back to the farmhouse._

_The entire way back, she thought of all the things she should have said to him. _

_I missed you. _

_I'm happy to see you. _

_I still... No. _

No. She had decided it was best this way. He obviously hadn't forgiven her for leaving, and she couldn't blame him.

By the time she sat down to dinner that evening, Beth had resolved to leave things be with Daryl. She wasn't ready to try and fix that situation while she was still trying to fix herself.

Beth didn't want to sit around dwelling on the thought of Daryl Dixon for too long, but she couldn't help it. Their reunion, _if you could even call it that,_ she thought with a grimace, had left her feeling horrible. And besides, what was one more night spent thinking about him, anyway? Beth had plenty of those under her belt already.

A noise pulled her from her thoughts, a kind of clicking noise that was coming from the back of the house, towards the woods. Beth's ears pricked up, and she could hear someone moving around to her side of the house. Panic started to rise in her chest, was someone trying to break in? A shadow rounded the back of the house, and came to a stop below her window. The clicking sound came once again, followed by a gruff voice muttering, "Stupid fuckin' lighter!"

There was a brief flash of light from below, illuminating the person's face for a second. Then all she could see was a red, glowing pinprick of a cigarette.

"_Daryl?"_ Beth whispered incredulously, her voice carrying in the quiet night. "What the hell are you doing?!" She could just make out his head nodding towards the back of the house, and he started walking back the way he came. Beth paused for just a moment, baffled by Daryl's appearance below her bedroom.

She grabbed her college hoodie, and pulled it on as she tiptoed out of her room and down the stairs. She had no idea what he was doing here, or why he had come here in the middle of the night; all she knew was that the butterflies from earlier in the day were back with a vengeance.

Beth reached the back door in the kitchen, and eased it open as quietly as possible, ruminating on the fact that she was twenty four years old and still sneaking around like a teenager.

Daryl was standing on the back porch steps, smoking his cigarette, and turned as he heard her approach. He bent down and carefully stubbed the cigarette out on the brick steps, then tucked it behind his ear so he could finish it later. As he stood up, Beth whispered, "What are you doing here, Daryl?"

"Honestly? I don' know." He raised his eyebrows as he replied. "Couldn' leave things like that, I s'pose. Not the first time I see you in years."

Daryl leant on one of the white wooden columns supporting the porch roof and crossed his arms. He opened his mouth to speak again, but quickly closed it, deciding not to divulge anything more, and turned to face the darkness.

Beth moved forward and sat on the porch step, a few feet from where Daryl stood. She bunched her hands in sleeves, and wrapped her arms around her legs.

"It's a nice night..." She looked up at him, but he was still looking out into the backyard, or the woods beyond. With a sigh, he sat down too.

"I ain't here to talk about the weather, Beth, that's for fuckin' sure."

She nodded but didn't reply, not wanting to push him. Beth watched Daryl turning his lighter over and over in his hands for what felt like an eternity before he turned to face her. Even in the dark, Beth knew his eyes were fixed on hers.

"You got some new scars." Daryl's hands stilled, and Beth hummed her assent. "I won't ask you about it tonight."

"Thank you." Her gratitude came in a whisper. "Look, Daryl..."

"Don't." He cut her off, and then cleared his throat. "I guess I had to come and make sure you were real. That you're really here."

Daryl stood up abruptly, shoving his lighter in his back pocket and descended the porch steps.

Beth followed suit, and impulsively grabbed for his hand; even though Beth didn't know what she wanted to happen, she wasn't ready to let him go yet. She expected him to knock her hand away, but to her surprise he tightened his grip, and pulled her towards him. All of a sudden, her entire being was immersed in Daryl Dixon. His arms were wrapped around her, warming her, crushing her to him. Beth could smell the leather of his vest, the cigarette smoke still lingering around him, all combining with the scent on his skin to create something so distinctly _Daryl_. In that moment, she felt like she had truly come home. Beth could feel Daryl's heart racing beneath her head where it was pressed to his chest. Without warning, he brought one hand up and ran it through her hair, pulling her face towards his. She stiffened, scared he might find that hidden scar on her scalp, but he didn't venture near it. His hand stilled on the nape of her neck, tangling his fingers in her hair. Daryl rested his forehead against hers, all the while keeping her body pressed to his with his other arm.

Beth didn't know how long they stood like that for, entwined in each others arms. At some point, Beth had wrapped her arms around Daryl's neck, which she realised as she idly stroked her hand through his hair. It felt like hours had passed before his hand released the back of her head, and gently travelled to cup her face, his thumb gingerly brushed the scar on her cheek. Straightening up, his nose nudged hers, and just as Beth was preparing to kiss him, he pulled away. Her eyes shot open, hands and body bereft, to see him backing away from her.

"I can't, Beth. You left. I can't... I have to go." Daryl concluded before hastily retreating into the darkness.

Beth waited in the dark for as long as she could, wondering if he would come back, until she became too exhausted to stand any longer.

When she crawled back into bed, Beth resolved once again to let things go with Daryl. She had hurt him, and tonight was more than she felt she deserved from him. As she drifted off to sleep, she could could just about smell that Daryl scent lingering on her sweater. And for the first time, in a long time, Beth slept soundly until morning.

...

_Here lies Hershel Greene _

_Beloved Father, Husband, Friend_

_Generous of Heart, Constant of Faith_

_May He Rest In Peace_

Beth knelt in front of the simple stone epitaph marking her father's resting place. She placed a bunch of yellow and purple flowers on top, and stood up, stepping backwards to join her sister. Maggie wrapped an arm around Beth, pulling her close. "It was a beautiful service, Bethy. The whole town came out. I've never seen so many people at a funeral before."

Maggie leant forward to add a single white rose to the flowers that Beth had placed.

"I wish I could have been here." Beth sighed as she looked at her sister. "I should never have gone away in the first place."

"Bethy, no, don't say that. Daddy was so proud of you. I am proud of you, everyone is. Bad things... They just happen. Look, do you want a few moments alone? I can go and wait in the truck?"

"Yeah, I'll be over in a little while." Beth gave Maggie what she hoped was a reassuring smile, and watched her walk back to the blue truck. Beth knelt down again, facing the white headstone. Before she could even take a breath, it was as though a wall had been knocked down, and all the grief she had been holding onto burst forth in floods of tears.

"Daddy, I wish you were still here. Why did you have to leave?" She managed to croak out in between fits of tears. "How are we supposed to live our lives without you in it?" Beth laid a hand on the carved stone, resting it on top her father's name. She didn't know what she had expected to happen when she came here – maybe she would feel something, like a presence, or a feeling of peace. Beth just felt unbearably sad.

Once the tears had stopped, Beth got up and walked back to meet Maggie. She found a packet of tissues in her bag, and cleaned up her face before she got to the truck, and then climbed in. Maggie looked at her with a sad smile and squeezed her hand.

"It will get easier, Bethy, I promise. It still gets me from time to time, but I'm getting there." She started up the truck and started driving away.

"I hope so..." Beth murmured as she gazed out of the window, saying a silent goodbye to her father.

...

A couple of days later, Maggie started getting things ready for Beth's homecoming party at the weekend. She had already invited the whole town and Beth's friends from college. She really was in her element, as there was nothing Maggie Greene liked more than a good party.

Beth had been out for a run that morning, having decided on a different route in order to avoid a certain someone. She breezed into the kitchen, just as Maggie and Glenn were having a heated discussion.

"I just don't think we should tell her just yet, that's all."

"You can't let her find out another way, Mags. You don't know what it would do to her." Glenn countered.

"Let me find out what?" Beth interrupted, making the pair jump. They obviously hadn't heard her come in. After a sideways look at each other, Maggie and Glenn looked guiltily at Beth.

"We didn't know when to tell you, but we haven't invited Daryl on Saturday." Glenn admitted.

"Okay... Is that it?" she replied.

"No. Well, it's a bit more complicated than that. I mean, we can invite him if you want but we didn't think you'd want him there after we tell you."

"Tell me what, Glenn?" she looked at Maggie, "What is going on?" Beth was starting to get confused. She hadn't told either of them about the reunion with Daryl, or the visit in the middle of the night.

"Beth, Daryl has been... Seeing someone. In town. He has a girlfriend." Maggie winced as she spoke the last word. Beth's heart practically stopped, and then started beating ten to the dozen.

"Oh." It was all she could manage.

"I wouldn't call Jessie his girlfriend, exactly, but they've been dating for about a month..."

"Shut up, Glenn, I don't think this is the time for specifics!" Maggie growled at her fiancé. "I didn't know what to tell you, Beth. Are you okay? Do you still want him to come? It's up to you?"

After a moment, Beth nodded her head.

"Yeah, it's fine, Maggie. It would be rude not to invite him when everyone else is. It's fine. I left him, it's up to him if he comes or not." She blinked at the couple and made her way towards the stairs. "I'm going to go shower, okay?"

Beth didn't wait for a reply, and raced up the stairs two at a time, before bursting into her bedroom and closing the door behind her. She leant her back against it and slid to the floor, tears once again flooding her eyes. Beth felt like she had been punched in the stomach. Daryl Dixon was moving on.


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm terrible at updating, I am so sorry this has taken ages. BUT I love this story and it will be finished, if not for other people then at least myself! Thank you for the reviews, I love reading them. A little note about this chapter - I'm from England and I'm not always 100% on how things like school etc go in America, I do a lot of research and can only hope to get things as accurate as possible, so I apologise for any discrepancies.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's a little different, but we will be back to the present day in chapter five! Thank you for reading!**

* * *

Six Years Ago

"No! Tara, no, we can't, my daddy will catch us!" Beth pleaded with her best friend, who was hastily pulling off her pyjamas and tugging on her jeans.

"Beth, it will be fine! You've just turned eighteen! You're _supposed_ to be sneaking out! And besides, Maggie got away with it... More often than not... Anyway, everyone is expecting us. Jimmy is throwing you a birthday party!" The pretty brunette's dark eyes flashed as she gave Beth a mischievous smile.

"You know full well Jimmy is throwing that party for Jimmy; it just happens to be my birthday. And what do you suppose this evening was?! I've already had a party. Which everybody attended!" Beth stood in her night dress with her hands on her hips. "Tara, this is a bad idea."

"Seriously, Beth, live a little! You'll be going off to Chamberlain soon! Studying to be a nurse, and you won't have time to be irresponsible and FUN because you'll be busy saving lives." Tara adopted an expression of mock wistfulness, staring into the air, "And I, I will be the greatest police cadet the academy has ever seen. We NEED to live it up while we still can, Bethy." She turned her eyes back to Beth and gave her signature puppy dog expression. Beth rolled her eyes, and pulled her night dress over her head.

"Fine! But I'm not drinking. What am I going to wear? Oh my goodness, I cannot believe you are making me go along with this!" Beth started rummaging through her wardrobe, looking for something suitable to sneak around farmland in the middle of the night in.

"You could wear a nice dress... Tonight could be the night you and Jimmy, you know, finally get it together!" Tara wiggled her eyebrows, and then yelped as a Chuck Taylor sneaker narrowly missed her head. "Hey! What was that for?!" She giggled and sat down on Beth's bed, waiting for her to get ready.

Beth emerged from the small walk-in wardrobe with a white crochet vest on over an old, cut off band tee, buckling up a distressed pair of jeans with a brown belt. "One, when have I ever worn a dress outside of church? And two, you know I do not feel that way about Jimmy. Two dates to the diner and one school dance does not a relationship make!" She grabbed her cowboy boots, deciding it best to carry them until they got outside.

"Okay, okay, fine. I noticed you making googly eyes at someone else all evening, anyway." Tara gave her a knowing grin, and Beth felt her cheeks getting hot.

"I don't know what you mean, Tara, you must be imagining things." Beth turned away and started looking for her bag.

"Oh, I think you do. We have known each other our whole lives, Beth Greene, and I know when you have a crush on someone. You couldn't take your eyes off that biker guy! Sheriff Grimes' friend. What was his name...? David? Derek?" Tara jokingly pondered with her finger on her chin.

"Daryl. And I don't have a _crush_ on him. I just... I was surprised he came, is all. He knows my dad, he hunts on our land. I don't know what he does the rest of the time. He seems very antisocial." Beth hoped this would be enough. It wasn't.

"Sure! That's all! Wouldn't have anything to do with his bulging biceps and bad boy attitude, would it?" Tara wiggled her eyebrows at Beth again, grinning as she tied up her dark hair.

"Since when do you notice bulging biceps? Hey, shouldn't we get going soon? All the beer will be gone by the time we get there. Is Sam going to be there?" Beth knew Tara would be distracted by talk of her on again, off again girlfriend.

"Ugh, yes. And she will be there with Brandon, of course. How did I manage to get stuck in a love triangle with the head cheerleader and the quarterback of the football team?" Tara lamented as she got up from Beth's bed, and slung her bag across her body.

"It's not really a triangle if one side doesn't know about it, Tara..." Her voice became more hushed as she approached her bedroom door. "Are you good to go?" Beth turned back to her best friend.

"As I'll ever be!" Tara whispered back. Beth eased the door open, and both girls snuck out, shutting the door silently behind them. They tiptoed down the stairs and out of the front door, sprinted across the east field, only giggling once they had climbed the first fence.

"Only two more fences and we're on Jimmy's family's farm!" Beth laughed, slightly out of breath from the quick sprint. "The things l let you talk me into!"

...

Three hours, four beers, and two shots later, Beth was regretting going to this party. The entire senior class was there, trucks parked up under an old barn with no walls on Jimmy's farm. Someone was blasting music from a sound system, random hip hop music that wasn't to her taste.

Beth had made it clear to Jimmy that night that she only saw him as a friend, and after a fairly long talk, he had made his peace with it. It was a load off her mind, in all honesty, as she didn't want to lead the guy on. She noticed he got over her pretty quickly though, as only an hour later Beth spotted him making out with Haley, a pretty girl she knew from her History class. Beth knew she had made the right call when she didn't feel a sting of jealousy over it. She spent the rest of the night milling around, going through the motions of laughing and chatting with the other seniors, when really she'd rather be back at home, just hanging out with her best friend.

Tara and Sam had ended things, as she wasn't going to split up with Brandon. Fortunately, he was none the wiser to the motives behind the argument, which meant the final two weeks of school would be relatively drama free for both of them now.

Beth and Tara were sat on the edge of someone's truck bed, both their final beers of the night.

"Pretty sure you said you weren't going to drink." Tara smirked.

"Yeah, well, here I am." Beth sighed. "Shall we go? I'm really not in the mood for this any more."

"Ha, you are such a depressing drunk!" Tara wrapped her arm around Beth's shoulders. "Come on, birthday girl, let's get you home."

...

Beth didn't remember much of her walk home with Tara, right up until the point she twisted her left ankle and fell flat on her face. She rolled over on to her back, shrieking with laughter as Tara tried to help her up, only to have her equally drunk friend stumble and fall next to her.

"I've really hurt my ankle!" Beth choked out between laughing. "I don't think I can go on!" Their giggling abruptly stopped when they heard a male voice yelling at them.

"HEY! Who the fuck's there?!" The two girls turned to stare at each other.

"That's not Brandon is it?" Tara whispered, looking vaguely annoyed.

"No, it's not whiny enough!" Beth snickered. "I can't believe Sam is staying with him!"

Tara rolled over onto her side with an incredulous look on her face, "I _know_, right?! What is she..." She was cut off by the appearance of a tall dark shape towering above them.

"The fuck are you two doing laying in my field at three o'clock in the morning?" The dark shape crossed his arms and waited.

"What? Your field? No, this is MY farm!" Beth sat up and pointed to the ground next to her. She tried to stand up but her ankle wouldn't let her, and the figure in front of her caught her before she could fall. "Wait. Daryl?" She squinted at the man holding her up, and felt her face burn up in embarrassment. _Oh no, no, no, not him, anyone but him..._

"No, this is my land. And you two are drunk. Home's that way." He pointed in the opposite direction of the way they had been walking. "Go on, go." He let go of Beth, who promptly sat back down in the grass, and started walking away.

"Hey, Da.. Darren? Daryl! She can't walk! You couldn't give us a ride could you?!" Tara shouted after him as she got up, and quickly gave Beth a look.

"_No, Tara! Shhhh!" _Beth couldn't believe what her best friend was doing. Tara wiggled her eyebrows at Beth once again. Daryl stopped and turned back towards them. He let out an exasperated sigh, and headed back towards them.

"Fine. C'mere." He leant down and grabbed Beth by the hand, and pulled her up. "Can you walk at all?" Beth tried to take a step but stumbled, and was once again caught by Daryl, who gave another sigh. Before she knew it, she was swept up in his arms, bridal style, and he was carrying her towards a small farmhouse that she hadn't noticed between the dark and her drunken haze. It was tiny, with a low pitched roof and a small porch out in front. Instead of going inside, he marched towards the dark grey truck parked alongside the house, and helped her in the passenger seat. It all happened so fast, she almost didn't have time to appreciate the warm skin sticking to hers, the strong, solid arms gripping her body or the dark hair tickling her forearm where it was wrapped around his neck. Almost.

...

"Hey, so I know it's basically your front yard but what were you doing out too?" Tara asked Daryl as he pulled out onto the main road, leaning forward between the two front seats.

"Could hear the music from your party. Kept me awake. And then I heard y'all shrieking." He shrugged, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Cool, cool." Tara cleared her throat. "So, um, are you going to tell our parents? Our dad's would kill us."

"Not my business. Both eighteen. Do what you want, 'cept not on my land." He still sounded annoyed, and still wouldn't look at either of them.

"You know the legal drinking age is twenty-one, right?" Tara questioned.

"Don' care." Daryl grumbled again.

Relief washed over Beth, and knew his response had satisfied Tara because she sat back in her seat, and kept quiet the rest of the short journey.

Beth was in the front of the cab next to Daryl, and couldn't help but keep glancing at him. His dark hair hung over his eyes, and Beth's fingers itched to push it back so she could see his eyes. She didn't know what colour they were, having never been brave enough to make eye contact the few times she'd met him. Beth only ever got a look at him from a distance when she saw him in town, or if he stopped by to see her dad. As Daryl hunted in the woods on the Greene farm regularly, he always offered Hershel some of his best kills.

They pulled onto her driveway, a long track that cut through a small section of woodland, before emerging into wide open farmland. She could see her house up ahead. The porch lights were on, but nothing else was. They were off the hook.

Daryl slowed to a stop before he reached the house. "You think you can get her in okay?" He looked in the rear view mirror at Tara.

"Sure thing. Thanks for the ride!" She fumbled with her seat belt before getting out of the car.

In a split second, Beth realised she didn't want to get out. She had had a crush on this man for months, and had never even spoke to him directly before. Beth knew about him though, about his brother, and about his past. Most people did. Daryl had been somewhat of an outcast before his unlikely friendship with the sheriff, and the fact that Hershel Greene was on good terms with him too cemented his place in the community. Some people still considered him trailer trash, though.

None of that bothered Beth. She didn't care what people thought of him, she just felt like he was a good person. And, she had to admit to herself, it didn't hurt that he was so good looking.

"You're really nice!" Beth blurted it out, and although she meant it as a way of thanks, she couldn't help feeling that she had given herself away. But, Daryl simply frowned at her with a look of confusion. _Blue eyes... __At least he doesn't look annoyed,_ she thought. His eyes flickered towards her house, and following his gaze, she saw her father standing on the front porch, in his dressing gown, and with his arms crossed. _Shit,_ she thought as her heart sank.

Daryl jumped out just as Tara opened Beth's door. "Busted!" she said in a sing-song voice, as she helped Beth out of the truck.

"I wondered what took you.." Beth grimaced as she eased herself out of the cab, leaning on her friend for support, and shutting the door behind her.

"Just saying hi to your old man!" Tara didn't seem phased by the situation at all.

Daryl walked over to Hershel and had a brief conversation. He nodded his head at the older man, and walked back to the truck, got in and promptly drove off.

Five minutes later both girls were sat at the kitchen table, opposite Hershel. "You know I'm going to have to call your father about this, don't you, Tara?" He spoke calmly, with an expression so neutral he could have been talking about the weather. She nodded, a self deprecating smile on her face, and Hershel continued. "You go on upstairs, Beth will be up in just a moment."

Tara got up and darted out of the room quickly, leaving Beth sitting looking sheepish in front of her father. He sighed, and said "At least you waited until you were eighteen to start sneaking out of the house, unlike your sister. I am disappointed in you, though, Bethy. More than disappointed - you know how I feel about alcohol."

"I'm sorry, daddy. I am." It was all she could say; the guilt of knowing it wasn't the first time she had been drunk clawed at her. She had always been a daddy's girl, and she hated letting him down.

"I know you are. And, although it's your birthday, there are going to be repercussions." He raised his eyebrows at her.

"I understand, daddy." Beth replied, wondering how long she was going to be grounded for.

"Tomorrow, you are going to go round to Mr Dixon's house and apologise to him. And, you're grounded for the week." Hershel looked at her until she nodded. "Now, let me look at your ankle before you go to bed."

Beth gave him an abashed smile, and let her father bandage up her sore ankle. It was already feeling better, so maybe she hadn't hurt it too badly.

As she hobbled up to bed, Beth was surprised to find that she was excited, despite being grounded. Tomorrow, she would get to see Daryl again. She limped into her bedroom, where Tara was already laying on the bed in her pyjamas. Seeing the smile on Beth's face, she grinned back, and simply said, "I knew you liked him."


End file.
